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How to they/them : a visual guide to nonbinary pronouns and the world of gender fluidity
2020
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First Chapter or Excerpt
What's beautiful is: when we realize so many different types of people and bodies do exist, we stop considering "male" and "female" to be normal . Allowing for a wider diversity of humans and life experiences lets people define for themselves what normal means. Being intersex or having different abilities and needs . . . these aren't things that need to be fixed, or indicators of "something wrong." be fixed, or indicators of "something wrong." These are parts of valid and beautiful humans who also deserve love and acceptance in this world. Or at least the world I'm hoping we all want to create together. Excerpted from How to They/Them: A Visual Guide to Nonbinary Pronouns and the World of Gender Fluidity by Stuart Getty All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
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Trade Reviews
Library Journal Review
Language can be complicated. It can become ingrained in our psyche and feel immutable, so how do you convince family, friends, or yourself to include gender-neutral language? With this book, Getty (genderqueer public speaker and filmmaker) has created an easy-to-read introduction to nonbinary pronouns, and to the world between and beyond the gender binary. They start with the basic basics--what is gender, how is it different from sex, what is gender expression--and move on to how to use they/them and other gender-neutral terms (spouse/offspring/Mx./etc.). The language used to explain terms is simplified and accessible, making it easy for all to understand. Getty inserts humor, relatable interactions, and their personal experiences to bring the why of nonbinary language to the forefront. Illustrations by Thyng add creativity and clarity. VERDICT Designed to be both a guide for those actively seeking more inclusive language and a useful gift for people who are uncertain regarding they/them pronouns, this book is more lighthearted than Dennis Baron's What's Your Pronoun? As an essential Q&A guide to gender identity, it deserves attention.--Ahliah Bratzler, Indianapolis P.L.
Booklist Review
Getty grew up as a tomboy in Kentucky, and when they started using "they" pronouns, it felt weird. But then the weirdness of it felt right, and that deeply felt journey (and their Kentucky politeness) seems to have prepared them to write this clear, kind guide to gender nonconformity. Getty explores the history of gender-neutral pronouns (which appeared as early as 1375), and how people can convince naysayers that the singular "they" is neither new nor a big deal. They break down the difference between Sex Assigned at Birth (SAAB), gender identity, and gender orientation, importantly explaining that even hormones and chromosomes don't work on a clear binary. The book also covers interactions: how to ask people for their pronouns, what to do when you mess up, and how to respond to anti-genderqueer rhetoric. Getty's cheeky tone and the punchy black-and-white illustrations by Brooke Thyng make this book a useful reference for anyone with questions about gender, whether their own or those they witness in the larger world, and a resource that belongs in all public-library collections.
Kirkus Review
Well-rounded guidelines for considerately traversing the ever evolving gender spectrum. In their insightful manual, genderqueer author and filmmaker Getty and queer designer and illustrator Thyng educate readers on the particulars of gender and grammatically correct pronoun selection. They also simulate what life presents for "GNC folks" (Gender Nonconforming) and the challenges they may face. Getty begins by sharing their own unique history, an opener that sets the humorously educative tone for the remainder of the book. Raised in Kentucky, they were born Kate, who was constantly aware of feeling "not quite female, not quite male." In adulthood, Getty adopted their middle name, Stuart, as a proper name. As Getty "grew into knowing myself, the less I used Kate," embracing being "weird" as a display of personal growth and expressive liberty. The author briskly and perceptively reviews the basics of nonbinary gender pronouns, describing their evolutionary timeline, meanings, and the often complex concepts of sex assigned at birth, gender identity, and sexual orientation. Getty also examines the specificities of social appropriateness and the importance of polite consideration for both adults and children. They address how to avoid "gender-clocking" and inappropriate curiosity about someone's "junk," hints on recognizing contextual clues, recovering from a conversational "slip," how to calmly discuss preferences with loved ones, and public bathroom etiquette. Getty's pleasantly entertaining instruction is complemented by Thyng's simple, effective pen-and-ink illustrations. Together, the text and illustrations cleverly accentuate themes spanning the gender spectrum, including methods of immediate support for the trans movement. Readers shouldn't let the narrative's lighthearted take on the subject belie its significance nor its urgency within the context of contemporary society. Focused on transparency and honesty, Getty and Thyng dispense critical information on identity and promote understanding and acceptance for those seeking freedom of expression and personal presentation. Straightforward, practical, relevant navigation through the radiant world of gender fluidity. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Summary
"This tender, smart, personal book is a gift.Stuart Getty generously shows us, with witty illustrations and kind humor, the hows and whys of they/them pronouns. A wonderful and necessary resource that is a delight to read."
-Michelle Tea, author of Modern Tarot and Valencia

What does nonbinary really mean? What is gender nonconforming? And isn't they a plural pronoun? In this charming and disarming guide, a real-life they -using genderqueer writer unpacks all your burning questions in a fun, visual way. No soapboxes or divisive comment-section wars here!

Sometimes funny, sometimes serious, always human, this gender-friendly primer will get you up to speed. It's about more than just bathrooms and pronouns--this is about gender expression and the freedom to choose how to identify. While they might only be for some, that freedom is for everyone!

" A clear, kind guide to gender nonconformity. Getty's cheeky tone and the punchy black-and-white illustrations by Brooke Thyng make this book a useful reference for anyone with questions about gender, whether their own or those they witness in the larger world."
-Booklist

"Straightforward, practical, relevant navigation through the radiant world of gender fluidity."
-Kirkus Reviews
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