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Talking the talk about autism : how to share and tell your story
2025
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Summary

As autistic self-advocates, our personal stories hold a lot of power: they are sources of strength, tales of overcoming barriers and adversity, and a way for us to assert agency and receive the support we might need. But how do you actually disclose your diagnosis? How do you tell teachers, support staff, colleagues, friends, or anybody else about your disability and account for their varied reactions? Or, if you're a parent or ally, how do you tell the person you're supporting about their own neurodivergent identity and culture?

Disclosure is often a thorny topic, but in this powerful and supportive book, Haley Moss explores the language, history, and stigmas that influence how people perceive autism, breaking down ways to approach conversations about neurodivergence in different contexts. By deconstructing fears around disclosure, Talking the Talk About Autism shows how the experience can be made more impactful, safe, and less nerve-wracking for all those involved.

Table of Contents
Acknowledgments7
Introduction9
1How Exactly Do We Talk About Autism?13
How I define autism15
Unpacking ableism18
The advocacy and disclosure recap40
2Why Is Disclosure So Tricky?43
Support45
Accommodations47
Acceptance48
Figuring out the goals49
3Disclosing for Parents: Talking to Neurodivergent Kids About Themselves51
How to tell your child56
Answering questions from your child69
A few things I think make questions and conversations easier71
4Disclosing for Parents: Trusting and Telling Other Kids and Adults81
Talking to siblings and other family members82
Do a lot of Listening84
Continue to carve out time just for them85
Advocating for your child at school-the IEP and 504 Plan86
Advocacy in healthcare91
Community inclusion, activities, and disclosure95
Oh, the places you go! Travel disclosure for families99
Telling random strangers103
Disclosing on the internet108
5Disclosing for Individuals: Developing Autistic Identity119
Disclosure as a set-up for life119
Shaping your narrative: how to develop strategies and tools to best tell your story and advocate for your needs127
Developing self-advocacy skills with perspective133
6Disclosing for Individuals: Disclosing to Family Members, Romantic Partners, and Friends135
When your family is the last to figure it out: keeping your cool and having a talk137
Loving and accepting you: talking the talk in potential and current romantic relationships152
Exploring neurodiversity and a new diagnosis156
7Disclosing for Individuals: Keeping it Professional and Disclosing Neurodivergence at Work165
Before we even get started: applications and interviews166
Employee resource groups and related disability inclusion initiatives188
If you suspect you are being discriminated against191
Reacting as an employer: what to do when someone discloses a disability or you suspect one192
8Disclosing for Individuals: Random Situations Where You May Self-Advocate and Disclose197
Advocating in public and with strangers197
Sharing on the internet198
On the road again: disclosing while traveling200
Gyms, fitness, and recreational activities204
Higher education: disclosing at college, university, and post-secondary programs207
Sharing: healthcare decisions and doctors209
Conclusion213
References217
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