Skip to main content
Displaying 1 of 1
When worry works : how to harness your parenting stress and guide your teen to success
2023
Where is it?
Large Cover Image
Trade Reviews
Booklist Review
Let's face it. Parenting teens is stressful. Psychotherapist Dorfman, mother of two teens, admits to her own emotional battles. Between COVID, academic competition, school shootings, and social media posts, teens and their parents face a lot of pressure. The topper seems to be parent achievement anxiety, but fear and worry aren't all bad, according to Dorfman. These emotions spark creativity, get us moving, and save us from disasters. The key to keeping parent achievement anxiety under control is first determining your "Parent Anxiety Reaction Type" and then using specific steps to tame it. Tapping into case studies from 30 years of work, the author highlights eight different types of parenting styles, noting each type's triggers, perks, and pitfalls. Focusing on parents rather than teens, Dorfman offers sensible steps to ease relationships and find winning solutions. She helps parents learn to reason rather than react and points out how their own childhood experiences can influence their parenting styles. Readers are sure to spot themselves among parents described as sculptors, game-show contestants, crowd-pleasers, avoiders, clairvoyants, shepherds, correctors, and replicators and benefit from Dorfman's sane advice.
Summary

Helps parents manage the stresses of adolescent achievement culture and to make decisions which align with their values, rather than their anxiety.

WHEN WORRY WORKS responds to one of the primary sources of the nation's worsening adolescent mental health crisis - achievement pressure. Burdened by the mounting pressures on today's youth, parents seek ways to strike the balance between supporting their teens' current well-being while also setting them up for future success. Eager to take action and to manage their escalating fears, parents inadvertently and unknowingly exacerbate the problem by overlooking their own parental achievement anxiety .

Based on thirty years of clinical practice and her experiences raising her own teenagers in New York City, the work demonstrates that when parents become aware of their individual anxieties and learn to effectively manage them, they are empowered to make values aligned, rather than worry driven parenting decisions. Dr. Dorfman provides practical evidence-based parenting strategies, exercises, and reflective prompts to guide parents through a process to constructively apply to their day-to-day parenting decisions.

Table of Contents
Acknowledgmentsix
Introduction1
Part IWhy, What, and How Parents Worry7
Chapter 1The Dilemma du Jour9
Chapter 2Anxiety Is the New Sugar19
Chapter 3How Worry Works31
Part IIThe Parts Parents Play49
Chapter 4Randy the Sculptor53
Chapter 5Stacey the Game Show Contestant75
Chapter 6Alice the Crowd-Pleaser91
Chapter 7Chris the Avoider103
Chapter 8Bruce the Clairvoyant115
Chapter 9Carol and Jim, the Shepherds129
Chapter 10Gina the Corrector145
Chapter 11Nathan the Replicator155
Chapter 12PART III: Putting It All Together: The Value of Values167
Conclusion179
Appendix: The Parenting Decision-Making Worksheet183
Notes189
Bibliography193
Index197
Librarian's View
Displaying 1 of 1